I read this purity blog post and I felt very, indifferent. Not only was she outstandingly bias in some cases, it made me think more of how an individual should approach some fire igniting topics. I started writing a rebuttal and soon realized this piece had more reflection than point.
Before I even begin, I want to proclaim a few statements first. I want to declare that I am for equal sexual rights, I empathize with gender confusion, and that romance only exists in Antarctica. Yet I am a man, and I want to fulfill my role as a man. But how the fuck do I do that? What essentially constructs the definition of a man? How can I be labeled a man and not something else?
I am a male (go figure). I am almost twenty seven years old and I have come to a crossroads in my life; fifty years ago societal standards expressed that I should be at least married, in the process of establishing a nuclear family, and have made steps to securing a time worthy career. Guess what— I’m reaching thirty with no intentions of getting married or having children. Oh, my career? Forget it. I still have to finish my undergrad then bounce off to a graduate program. I’m really in no rush. So then, what is the role of a male when the roles of society are ever changing? Who am I essentially meant to be?
This isn’t because I want to enjoy my bachelor youth by living out the ideals of a sexually dominate god on the continuous prowl for action I know all men secretly wish to be; I couldn’t be that lucky. Hell, I consider myself moderately attractive. I’m less than six foot, awkwardly skinny, and not as clever as I hope to be. I’m humble in nature, arrogant, and I float responsibility with a thick layer of charm. I get by, I’m not happy about it, and I’m sure if women threw themselves on me I wouldn’t hesitate to dig right in. Waking up alone enough can be worse than waking up with regrets, at least that vindicates living.
I am in a very confusing point in my life. I should have been doing this college thing when I first graduated high school but I’ve always been a late bloomer. Cliché, but the truth. Now I sit in classrooms full of “peers” who just started buying their first legal drinks. It distances me farther than the moon. Here is a playground of socializing at my fingertips. A world I can get down and dirty with whoever is willing to join me. I’m outnumbered by females in my degree; it’s awesome, yet very intimidating. Biologically every glance spurs off a chain reaction of carnal thoughts and desires for every distinct woman in my classes. I kid you not—every male will have this creep and consume their mind. I am not unique. Society did not tell me to think like this. When that chromosome decided to change and those balls decided to fall, so did the blood in my brain when the ovaries walked through that door. The tall blond with glasses gets a finger banging at the top of the lecture hall. The brunette busting at the seams takes me to her dorm room and none of her roommates are home. The creamy pale redhead knows a quiet place in the park where she can scream. Then I zone back to reality and realize were still talking about character development.
So let’s say all this does happen. I level the playing field with my seed. I’m glowing I’m so fucking desirable and women are throwing themselves at me without hesitation, without once questioning my sexual history, health, mental state, or consenting commitment. I replay these stories and my gender declares me powerful, dominating, while secretly loathing my success. The shame is not that society has built this up, but because men are hardwired to think like this. We have an unlimited supply of semen and we are not afraid to spill it. Our cups are always refilling. The more women a man conquers, the more locks his key opens, the higher his chance at reproducing and passing on his genes. This is how he survives.
Whatever you may believe to be the purpose of life—God, love, wealth, power, wisdom; it’s all trivial compared to a human beings basic concept of existence; to fornicate and instill the continued survival of the species. Only the strongest genes will survive. Still I find myself unsure of my purpose. This is my basic setup and I should embrace it, right? Pull that phallic hammer out and start building a future son. Sculpt society with your seed and seduce the weakening knees with your shear physical structure. Monogamy is only a recent invention amongst human beings given our long history and our similar behavioral standards like apes. So the way males and females are engineered for sexual reproduction is completely opposite. Ironic considering all humans start off as females in the womb. So in reality, should I not embrace this standard? Is this why men can never be frowned upon for being promiscuous in a vast array? Society claims higher conscious existence must embrace culture to ensure survival in a savage world, but sex? Who cares, he’s just doing what a man was supposed to do. What the fuck, I’m so confused and I feel guilty for not calling her back. But Saturday night is more promising and wearing a shorter dress, so I’ll soon forget. Can you blame me?
Women only have so many eggs. Men, well we all know how to fill up a cup on a daily basis. Therefor it logically makes sense to understand why certain connotations and titles designated to a gender based on their promiscuity have evolved in such a way. Here’s the bigger kick too, science has evolved farther and beyond the capabilities of physical evolution in just the past 75 years. Condoms, birth control, Plan B, and safer abortion techniques have allowed women to enter the playground with a whole new set of tools and identity. It’s pissed off males beyond all control, and really helped to benefit some (me). I can begin to take bat in this game of sexual intercourse without having to worry about the responsibilities of impregnating every girl I rest inside. Am I cheating the concept of higher society by cheating the laws of nature? What kind of loophole is this if any? Is it even fair to be so selfish? Even though a “whore” has the advantage is this day and age, can they ethically be justified when compared to monogamy?
So now we have a society that can simply just override patriarchal standards that have been in place since before the Bible and Christ himself and it’s the best thing to happen to the human race, period. Yet, not only is monogamy safer, but psychologically better for both sides of the relationship, as well as the strongest tactic when raising children. This is not an argument against homosexuals though; I should point this out now. I want to argue monogamy for all, because it works.
What isn’t working is the idea of ‘smuttiness,’ but that’s a cry and shame because I know for a fact that I, as an intelligent man, will not just settle down with an extremely promiscuous woman without investigating her history first. Not because they’re a whore, I’m sure I could fall in love with a porn star, but because I need an equal; a counterpart that is relatively as critical as I am and in which someone I can trust, well with trust. Biologically I need a partner who resembles the traits I find strong for sexual reproduction and is healthy. Psychologically, I need a partner whose understanding, responsible, and can critically think. Now that sounds somewhat vague, and a bit too scientific, but when you get down to the details, I think this is what anyone wants on either side of the spectrum.
Where is the line drawn though? Who is allowed to act like this and for what reasons? What is their justification? Why can a man? Why can’t a woman? Why can’t I look at her in a different light and not a red one? Why do I believe this? Her skin is glowing, yet if she were to shine as I should, then society would tear her limb from limb until she is nothing but pieces on the headrest she nicked a notch in.
So what if someone is a whore? Male or Female. They are experiencing their world sexually. I personally find it tremendously tedious to spit game consistently and dating is just the most frustrating god damn thing in the world. I think I’ve gone above the average goal for men when searching for partners, but that’s not the point, at least not in modern society, right? Is that what makes a man superior? Is this the modern man, or is this idea the appendix that still dwindles thousands of years later, serving no purpose but to eventually cause us more health problems. But why not surpass this goal, after all you’re accomplishing a biological goal that’s engraved in your genetics; impossible to override. Fuck it, double that goal, or even triple the average. Hell, why not multiply that by 100? That’s fine. That’s terrific. You’ve lain down with a hundred naked women and have left nothing but scared uteruses and bed stains in your wake. If that is the world you as a person choose to exist in, then by all means, orgasm your way to the death bed. But exploring sexuality is different and labeling sexually promiscuous individuals as whores is ignorant and wrong. Whores get paid after all.
Logically you’re doing it wrong. The idea of having sex with anyone and everyone is a great pleasure principle, but with the advances of technology, women can be the sexual conquerors just like men. It’s great, there is nothing more promising then knowing that a woman can jump on the train without having to worry about whether or not she’s going to be lugging around a carry-on for nine months.
Example A: Eddie if you grind your way through a sea of women, how many of these women do you think may wake up in the morning and think different about their lives after that day? How many will become attached? How many will just leave in the morning with no notes? How many will declare it the best? The worst? It was so-so? Who is clean? Who was worth remembering? Who was the mistake? Who was the one that got away? Who’s next? Who’s up for round two? Who’s sober? Who wasn’t in their right mind? Who did you take advantage of? Who scared you? Who seduced you? Who is that person underneath that stretch of skin?
Now imagine you’re one of those women consumed by any one of those questions. How is your day to be affected by such?
Now to my point to the argument brought up in this semi-viral blog post: I don’t think anyone should be whores. I think it defaming our society beyond a level of control and really doing nothing to progress people at all.
I think though that people should still be sexual, and by all means embrace your sexual nature. Women should shave those legs and men shouldn’t shave their beards. I think gender roles is a whole other argument, and I’ve exhausted myself on this topic.
Consider this part one while I contemplate gender roles and explore my thoughts about how a Man should be constructed in the light of a reign of women exploring sexual independence.